I am embracing my inner granny. With no literal grandbabies on the horizon this is figurative, but if health care professionals can refer to a 35-year-old first time pregnant person as an “elderly primipara”, then at 54 years old I am most certainly a granny doula.

I am a slow learner, it’s true. I needed twenty years to let go of the “helper” in me and embrace the “being”. I no longer believe that it is my job to make a good birth happen. I offer education, a prompt here and there, but mostly I offer the respect of watching my client have their own experience. I have been working with women trying to get pregnant, during pregnancy and postpartum all along, but I didn’t feel ready to be at births again until a couple of years ago.

I began attending births in 1991. I needed to go to a birth to become certified as an independent Bradley Method childbirth educator, and I was blessed with a dear friend who invited me to be present when she gave birth to her son. It was glorious: a vaginal breech birth with the midwife and obstetrician standing in the doorway while my mother/goddess friend did her thing. Her partner and I supported her, but she did it all, including standing on the delivery room table (narrow, metal, cold) with her head in the lights as she pushed her son into the world scrotum first. That was the first of many births I attended over six years.

A couple asked me a question last month that I had never been asked before: “Have you ever attended a birth where the mom took pain meds or had an epidural?” There was a long pause as I thought about it. I recalled the births: home births, hospital births, VBACs, with midwives, with OBs. None with medication. Then I said, with surprise in my voice, “No.” I told the couple I believe there is a place for medical interventions, including surgical procedures, epidurals and pain meds (hey, I had a C-Section), but they haven’t been used at any of the births I’ve attended so far.

One of the labors was traumatic. Not because of the birth itself, but because of how the mother was treated on admission to the hospital. The admitting nurse violated the mother’s privacy in a brutal way. The mother’s labor stalled and I finally left to let the couple regroup.  She couldn’t relax in front of me after what I had witnessed. I was still very young as a doula. I had no idea how to address the situation. Now I have skills to turn that moment around, get her back into her own knowing and personal dignity. I know how to help us laugh it off.

At hospital births I saw other things happening that confounded me: routine monitoring, IVs and episiotomies; badgering and bullying the laboring woman while she tried to figure out how to push; managed third stage featuring pulling on the cord and punching down the woman’s stomach like it was bread dough. Why do we continue to allow care providers to bribe us with their “caring” in return for our compliance? (That’s the phrase medical providers use: “patient compliance”. More sensitive providers inform, then monitor for patient “adherence” to the suggested course of treatment, while allowing for deviation through informed refusal.)

Where did we lose our knowing of our physiological competence? I had no sense of my body’s wisdom before my own first birth. I tried to reach women before childbirth with puberty classes for girls and their moms, and reproductive wellness classes for adult women. I realized that I needed to learn more about how the body deals with trauma and how we heal from traumatic experiences if I wanted to be fully present for pregnant and laboring women. I had processed my own experiences and found great healing in my second birth, but there was more work to be done so I could be present and neutral no matter what was happening. I apprenticed as an herbalist. I studied homeopathy. I took Reiki classes. I heeded the call to become an extremely well-trained craniosacral therapist.

What laboring couples need is a calm, encouraging, birth-knowing extra body in the room (a chill gofer who happens to know a lot about birthin’ babies just in case a helpful piece of info is required), and I’ve taken time to learn how to do that. I’ve let go of feeling it is my job to “do stuff” to be worthy of being present.
I’ve acquired a ton of knowledge and many wonderful bodywork and listening skills, but nothing matters more than being a witness to the glory of the working birthing process, as I was for my friend at that first birth I attended.

I know that, given enough time and space, birth almost always works without intervention. However, many couples aren’t given that time and/or space for lots of good and bad reasons. I don’t have to be invested in the outcome, I’m just here to love what is. Like a granny does.

Originally published in the March 2016 issue of Allen's Creek Living

Feeling stressed? Let out a long slow breath, breathe in and breathe out another long slow breath. As you are breathing, look around you. Find something beautiful to rest your gaze upon: a tree out the window, a pet, a photograph on your desk. Breathe out slowly again.

In 1975 Dr. Herbert Benson wrote a book called The Relaxation Response. A professor at Harvard University Medical School, Dr. Benson sought to put a secular name to the physiological state achieved with meditation. Meditation was not a comfortable word in the 1970’s; many people felt it had particular religious connotations. Dr. Benson sought to share the physical benefits of intentional breathing and what we now call “mindfulness” with everyone, regardless of religious affiliation.

In 1979, Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, brought  mindfulness and meditation to cardiac patients as part of their rehabilitation programs. Suddenly working-class Boston men were learning how to slow their breathing, focus on the present and intentionally relax their nervous systems. Over the years his positive results have brought his tools to the masses and now meditation and mindfulness practices are regular household tools.
So how does this work?

When we need to run or fight our autonomic nervous system tells us to pull our shoulders up, breathe with our chest and crouch. Also, if we are in that posture, the brain thinks we are still in a dangerous situation, so we continue to breathe shorter, shallower chest breaths. If we can’t resolve the stressful situation we stay frightened, and if we have any areas of pain in the body the pain is increased. The more fear we have, the more stressed and tense we remain, and we feel more pain.

If we notice that we have become stuck in the fear/tension/pain cycle we can use belly breathing to get out of it. Long exhales followed by deep belly breaths tell the autonomic system that we are safe enough to breathe a little deeper so we relax a little more, the fear or anxiety become less and we can breathe a little slower and a little deeper. We move into the relaxed breathing/safe feeling/less pain cycle.

Most people find it easier to move from the fear/tension /pain cycle by counting their breaths or focusing on something beautiful in their environment. They are being mindful of their present situation. They are brought back into the present moment and out of worries for the future or concerns about the past. The body can become relaxed and the mind will follow.

Originally published as a health article in Allen's Creek Living magazine

It used to be a mystery: why do humans need to “waste” eight hours (one third) of everyday sleeping? Sleep is so essential to our mental health that if we don’t sleep we go crazy; sleep deprivation is a form of torture. And it is not just our mental health that suffers.  My clients who track their blood pressure find that their blood pressure is higher after a night of inadequate sleep. Chronic sleep deprivation has been found to contribute to increased hypertension, chronic heart disease and diabetes. So what is it about sleep that is so essential?
Researcher Maiken Nedergaard, MD, DMSc, and her colleagues at the University of Rochester have solved a big part of the puzzle. Our brains have a cleansing system that operates more efficiently while we sleep. This cleansing system (called the glymphatic system) bathes the brain in cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) under a higher pressure than was previously understood.

Sleep changes the cellular structure of the brain. Nedergaard and her team discovered that when we are sleeping, the space between our brain cells expands so that a greater volume of the CSF can flow into the brain. The CSF flushes waste products out of the brain and into the blood stream where they can be removed from the body.

One of the substances removed by the glymphatic system is beta-amyloid protein. Researchers believe that Alzheimer’s disease is caused by an excess of beta-amyloid proteins in the brain, so they are looking at the relationship between sleep and the development of Alzheimer’s. For those more interested in productivity than health it’s important to note that people who are drunk outperform people who are sleep deprived.

Individuals can vary in their need for sleep. Many people insist they don’t need a full eight hours of sleep to perform and feel well. Excessive sleeping may indicate poor health.  Some researchers believe that we don’t need to get our eight hours in one continuous episode; we are able to get the benefits of sleep in segments that include napping during the day. But all agree that about eight hours of sleep total are essential to optimal health and performance.

Or as Nedergaard says, “We need sleep. It cleans up the brain.”

As people relating with other people, especially as parents or heath care providers, we can nourish one another by facilitating joy.

Joy is food for our self-healing abilities; it is the fuel for our learning abilities. Joy is what gives us resilience. If we lose track of the joy in our lives, then it becomes harder to heal from everyday living. We need joy to recover from traumatic events. Recent research by the HeartMath Institute has shown that while meditating can help us feel more calm and safe, feelings of joy and delight are what make it possible to heal and renew.

One of the most important conversations I have with my clients is about resources. I use the word resources to refer to the people, places and things that nourish or foster joy. I ask them “Where do you find joy in your day?” Some people can access joy easily. They know where their joy is and can access it well. Others sit quietly and slowly realize that it has been a while since they have felt joy. Maybe it has been so long they aren’t sure where to find it. In the movie “City Slickers” Billy Crystal’s wife tells him to “Go find your smile” when he appears to have lost track of his joy. Other people respond too quickly: they assume their joy is in the same places they have always been, or maybe where they think they should be, but is that really where they find joy today?

My resources can be my husband (sometimes), my kids (sometimes), my dog (almost always), my cats (almost always), and quilting (usually). But small animals, babies, beautiful sunsets, and watching bugs pollinate my garden always bring me joy and delight. These are my personal sources of the joy found in delight.

We also need social resources. The feeling of being in a supportive community, part of a clan, or a contributing member of a team can provide a profound sense of the joy felt in satisfaction. We can play as we dance, sing, cook and eat together.

Health care providers become a social resource for the client. As I begin a treatment, my hope is that my caring demeanor and loving hands allow the client to feel safe, creating the opportunity for their body to settle deeply long enough to allow them to access their joy.

I use the example of a bucket when I talk about replenishing our body’s resources. We all have a bucket that represents our capacity for handling the difficulties/stresses/traumas that come our way. Some people have small buckets and some people have large buckets and most of us are somewhere in between.

Costly feelings, such as anger, disdain and sadness, deplete the resources in our bucket, they activate our sense of “not safe” and cause our body to fight, flee or freeze.  They are not “bad” feelings. Indeed, they are necessary for our full participation in life, but they do cost us resources to experience them.

Neutral feelings don’t change the resources in our bucket. We feel safe in the moment, calm, peaceful and meditative. While I would hypothesize that, if we experience neutral feelings as a discipline over time (like a meditation practice) then that discipline can make our bucket slightly larger and sturdier, according to HeartMath neutral feelings don’t replenish our resources. They also don’t use them up. We could say that neutral feelings prepare the way for joy.

Replenishing feelings like joy, delight, happiness and gratitude refill the bucket. They allow our autonomic nervous system to reset to levels that allow healing and repair activities to function efficiently.

When we are looking at another person, it is important to see them as a whole. If all we notice are the parts that aren’t working well, then we are missing the vast majority of the person: the parts that work perfectly 24/7 like a well-tuned machine. Holding this wellness in our awareness, while noticing the parts that might need some assistance, is a way of acknowledging the person’s resources. Instead of asking “How can I fix you?” We might ask, “How can I be present with you in your experience in a way that allows your healthy parts to give resources to the parts that are feeling overwhelmed?” This does not mean that we only allow “good” feelings, it means we are there to be a resource for the person as they process the difficult feelings. They can feel the joy of being cared for as they also feel sadness or grief or disappointment.

Maintaining a broad perspective allows us to see more than a small piece of the person. When we allow ourselves to see the whole person (not just the part with a complaint or a part we find lacking) we gain access to resources that are nurturing to the whole person. When we see the whole person we tap into compassion and the joy of connection, allowing us both to deepen into greater well-being, refilling the bucket.

Originally published in Allens Creek Living, August 2015

Prior to getting pregnant I had no need to interact with health care providers except for annual exams. More than 25 years ago, when I got the ecstatic news that my husband and I were going to have a baby, I was fortunate to be a relatively healthy person doing a very normal thing: growing and giving birth to a baby, but I was unprepared for the choices I needed to make about staying healthy and getting the best care possible during pregnancy.

According to Amy Haas, a Rochester-area independent childbirth educator for almost twenty years, "Pregnancy is a natural alternative state for a woman's body, but it does place stress on us.  So we have to work to stay healthy and low risk.  It is important to focus on what is in our control, such as diet, exercise, avoidance of harmful substances, and education."

Pregnancy and birth are not without their risks. Although deaths are rare, birth is still an event that carries us close to life and death consequences. Obstetric medical doctors and certified nurse midwives are trained to watch for risks and use interventions as needed.

However, unless the mother or baby is diagnosed with a health risk (such as diabetes or congenital malformations) most of the time these interventions are not required. Birth attendants can be trained to practice evidence-based care while they monitor the birthing mother, using interventions only when medically necessary. Avoiding unnecessary episiotomies, epidurals, vacuum extractions and c-sections helps to keep both baby and mother as healthy as possible as they enter the next phase of natural child-rearing: breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is more successful when mother can move around comfortably and baby is not drowsy. Some interventions (such as routine suctioning) can interfere with the baby’s instincts for sucking properly on the nipple.

Advocating for your baby’s optimal health begins as soon as the mother knows she is pregnant. Choosing a trusted care provider to guide the family through the natural process of bringing a new member into the world is the first of many choices that impact the long term health of the whole family. There is a lot of information to take in about the different styles of obstetric care during pregnancy and delivery.  Here are good places to start:

Rochester Area Birth Network: www.rabn.org

Evidence-Based Birth: evidencebasedbirth.com 

Originally published in Allens Creek Living, July 2015

A relatively new field within microbiology is the study of the human microbiome. While scientists have always known that bacteria, viruses and fungi were present in and on a healthy human body, science is now discovering the many ways that those organisms contribute to the function of the body, particularly the digestive tract, the immune system and the nervous system.

Our microbiome is our individual ecology – a living balance of coexisting creatures – and the state of balance or imbalance in that ecology can create a feeling of health or disease. In the normal human microbiome there are three times as many bacterial cells as human cells. Yes, for our 37 trillion human cells there are 100 trillion bacterial cells. And we are only just beginning to understand why we carry around 2.5 lbs. or 3 pints of microbes scattered throughout the body.

A baby’s incorporation of microbes into her body begins in the womb from the placenta. She is exposed to more microbes as she exits the birth canal, and then she gets another shot of microbes while breastfeeding (there are microbes that are only found on the nipple). She continues to acquire microbes as she meets new people and explores the world.

Antibiotics are medicines that kill bacteria. Prior to the discovery of antibiotics, common infections, such as a case of strep throat or a persistent boil on the skin, were life-threatening. Postpartum womb infections used to be the leading cause of maternal death before the discovery of antibiotics. These drugs were seen as miraculous because they were used to combat diseases that seemed hopeless before.

However, the overuse of antibiotics has caused drug-resistant bacteria and an imbalance in the human biome. If the baby’s mother has been given antibiotics, her microbiome may not contain microbes that used to be common. If the baby is given antibiotics, the baby’s microbiome may be stripped of microbes that manufacture valuable neurotransmitters (nervous system communication molecules) in the digestive tract. As the baby grows she may be exposed to antibiotics in meat (given to promote growth and prevent infection of the animal) that further challenge the balance of her microbiome.

Scientists are finding that microbial imbalances may cause obesity, colitis, colon cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, schizophrenia, Parkinson’s disease, anxiety and ulcers, among other diseases.

Now there are therapeutic uses of bacteria to rebalance or recolonize the human biome. Probiotics are supplements containing bacteria normally found in the body. Probiotics  are commonly used to try and bring the body back into microbial balance. There are even fecal transplants done to normalize bowels that have become overwhelmed with one bacteria, usually clostridium difficile.

For more information you can go to the website of the American Academy of Microbiology and read their FAQ on the human microbiome: academy.asm.org

Originally published in Allens Creek Living, June 2015

The absolute foundation of good health is good food. In Rochester we benefit from having one of the finest grocery chains in the country, but I prefer going to the source of our good food when I can: to the farmers themselves.

Now that we are in June, the local outdoor farmer’s markets will be in full swing. As a lifelong Rochester resident I have watched CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture) form and town markets spring up. I belong to a CSA, but I also go to the market every week. Today most of the local towns have their own farmer’s markets, and Brighton’s is my favorite.

Through the summer months the Brighton Farmer’s Market (http://www.brightonfarmersmarket.org/)  is held in the Brighton High School parking lot, 1150 Winton Road South, Rochester 14618. Going to any farmer’s market can be a quick run to pick up eggs and salad greens, or it can be a leisurely morning stroll with a cup of coffee and breakfast bought from a vendor.

What I enjoy most is talking to the farmers themselves. All of the farmers at the Brighton Market are from the greater Rochester area and sell locally grown produce and meats. While I enjoy the hubbub of the Rochester Public Market, you need to be very careful not to end up with produce or other food grown in mysterious ways in faraway places. By talking with the vendors at the Brighton Farmer’s Market, you can know exactly how their products are grown, harvested and prepared for sale.

Perhaps you have seen the first episode of the television show Portlandia? In a satire of foodies, two characters go out to dinner, attempt to order chicken and then drive out to the farm to meet the farmer before they will eat their meal. While I don’t want to know the name of the chicken, turkey or pig I am buying to feed my family, I do want to know the farmer.

A farmer can tell me exactly what was used to fertilize the soil the plants grow in and how she manages common pests. He can tell me about what the animals are fed and how they are slaughtered and processed. And the farmers usually have some great cooking tips, too. Farmers are interesting people; they are choosing a lifestyle that is rare today, but used to be the way the majority of us lived.

I like knowing that my food didn’t have to travel far to get to me (saving fossil fuels), is very fresh (usually picked within the last 24 hours) and is allowing open farmland to continue beautifying our gorgeous Finger Lakes area. Oh, and eating with the season is good for me, too. Enjoy the bounty!

Originally published in Allens Creek Living, May 2015

When my daughters were small, I insisted that we have “quiet time” every day at 3:00. We would lie down on the sofa or on my bed. Sleep was not required. The girls could look at picture books until they were old enough to read on their own. Sometimes I turned on Mr. Rogers at 4:00 because I needed his calming presence, but there was no other TV. It was quiet time.

Many years have passed, but I still value quiet time. Medical and therapeutic professionals of all kinds are approached by clients overwhelmed by to do lists – all of the important must-do’s and must-see’s of contemporary life. It can be difficult to persuade people who feel that there will never be enough hours in the day to take half an hour and do nothing.

But doing nothing actually is a very important doing something for your mind and body. It doesn’t have to be called meditation and it doesn’t require any special techniques. Sitting quietly for twenty minutes and just noticing (without judgement) all of the thoughts that parade through your head can be educational: just notice what happens. Researchers have found that if you combine that with focusing on your heartbeat, the nervous system settles and it is easier to feel happiness, joy and gratitude in the face of what felt overwhelming before.

Most people feel the need to prove their worth through productivity. Many have more work to do than they could ever accomplish. But we are not human ”do-ings” we are “human beings”. It may feel counterintuitive, but taking the time to be, without doing, can make us more productive overall.

Some people find taking quiet time difficult because their mind and body can’t sit still. Start with some gentle stretching, or have your quiet time while walking. No headphones! Just quiet.

So the next time you are feeling like a gerbil on its wheel, don’t just do something, sit there. Give yourself the gift of quiet time.

 Originally published in Allen's Creek Living, April 2015

Have you ever considered your skin a “social organ?” We tend to think of our skin as a protective layer that gives us sensory information about the temperature, humidity and pressure of the air or objects around us. In his book, The Science of Hand, Heart and Mind, David Linden describes the skin as a tool we use to connect with others and read social cues.

Social theory on the subject of touch has varied.  In the early 20th century, physicians told parents to keep touch to a minimum in order to prevent childhood infectious diseases. Stories were fabricated to pressure parents not to “baby” their children with affection; lest they grow up to be languid ne’er do wells with no ambition.  But by the 1950’s touch (or the lack of it) was receiving scientific scrutiny.

Harry Harlow’s famous monkey experiments in the 1950’s were done to prove that children, particularly infants, required touch to develop healthy psychological attachments to their caregivers. Then, in the early 1990’s, Harlow’s theories were proved when the tragic consequences of Romania’s overpopulated orphanages were made public: infants deprived of human touch died, they needed more nurturing contact than being fed and changed.

Our need for touch does not dissipate as we grow out of infancy, but American culture discourages touch. Our society has reacted to those who abuse touch by keeping touch to a minimum. Immigrants to the US are often confused by our physical reserve: in Senegal two men often walk down the street holding hands, in France two women can stroll along the Seine arm in arm without anyone assuming a romantic relationship between them.

Our reluctance to touch deprives us of a valuable source of social information. In her article in the March 4, 2015, issue of The New Yorker, Maria Konnikova states "Certain touch receptors exist solely to convey emotion to the brain, rather than sensory information about the external environment. A recent study shows that we can identify other people’s basic emotions based on how they touch us, even when they are separated from us by a curtain."

Touch is a gift we can give to each other. After asking permission, a platonic hug, pat on the arm or shoulder or squeeze of the hand can soothe your friend or family member’s frazzled nervous system. We are built to sense and evaluate our environment with touch, and also be soothed, nourished and comforted by touch. Our children need to experience safe appropriate touch. When they do not experience affection, children may be vulnerable to those who would provide that attention and affection in inappropriate ways.

Our sensory organs crave input. Providing safe opportunities for your skin to experience safe and comfortable touch, particularly touching other humans, is as important as providing your body with healthy food.

Originally published in Allen's Creek Living, March 2015

Human bodies are built to be in motion. We breathe better, our hearts are healthier, we move our bowels more comfortably if we are in motion throughout the day. Natural movements can be the most effective way to maintain optional range of motion in all of our body parts.

People born with or who acquire disabilities that make them unable to move on their own must be moved by others or their bodies don’t function well. Turning, repositioning, and stretching must be done or the skin, organs and joints suffer.

Imagine your body as a sweater – a sweater knitted to be shaped like you. Now imagine that sweater is not just the outside surface of your skin, but that the knitting is also within your body – a 3D representation of you. The tissue that is our knitting is called fascia and it is ubiquitous in the body. It is responsible for holding every part of us together. A fascial membrane supports and protects the brain within the skull. Fascial sheets and compartments support and separate muscles, bones, joint capsules and organs. Fascia protects and supports lymph and blood vessels. Fascia bundles muscle fibers and connects bones to each other. Fascia has interesting properties: it can soften and reshape itself when it is heated or compressed.

Sweaters can lose their shape. They can get over-stretched. Yarn can get pulled, creating lines of tension across the garment, warping it into less-functional (and less attractive) shapes. When we wash a sweater, we “block” it – we reshape it carefully so that it will dry in in a more functional and attractive shape.

Sitting for long periods causes our fascia sweater to reshape itself to the sitting position, which is not optimal for other activities. In order for our fascia sweater to stay strong and pliable, it needs to move in many different ways. Movement of the body creates heat and pressure, allowing the fascial sweater to “reblock” itself and find its way back to a more functional and comfortable shape, allowing for optimal movement of blood, lymph and joints. In addition to the structural benefits of movement, twenty to thirty minutes of sustained movement oxygenates the brain and promotes the production and circulation of mood-enhancing neurotransmitters. A fascia sweater that moves well and holds it shape is a hedge against depression and lethargy.

Movements of everyday life can be enough. Walking twenty minutes a day greatly benefits the heart and the musculoskeletal system. Lawn and garden work, house cleaning, or any other activity that requires squatting, bending and twisting can keep muscles stretchy and strong while massaging the internal organs.

Your body has many parts, made to move through space in many directions and with a wide range of motion. Keep those parts well-lubricated and well-shaped by moving in many different ways through your day.